Dagupan's vaunted majority now vanquished minority?

By MORTZ C. ORTIGOZA

I have an opportunity to witness how Lent was practiced at San Fernando, Pampanga and the Holy shrine in Manaoag, Pangasinan.

In Pampanga I saw a drunk effeminate (gay or bakla in Filipino) praying loudly to a crucified “Jesus Christ” by asking the latter that somebody give him a branded T-back underwear.

Christ, who was portrayed by a kapampangan (who looked like a drug addict), was excruciatingly in pain because of the huge nail that pinned his two feet in a cross mustered to speak to the gay.

Jesus Christ:  Napakapalad mo anak (You’re very lucky my son).

Gay: (Bakit po?) Why my Lord?

Christ: Kung hindi lang nakapako itong mga paa ko kanina pa kita tinadyakan diyan beke! Anong T-Back T-Back iyong hinihingi mo? Kita mo ako kahit bahag na pantapal sa ari ko di ako makabili! (If both my feet are not nailed here I have kicked your ass earlier, faggot! What T-Back are you asking? Have you not seen my situation I could not even afford to buy a g-string to cover my private part!).

In Manaoag, Pangasinan I overheard a group of gay responded to the liturgy of a priest there.

Priest: Dugo ni Kristo (Blood of Christ)…

Gays: Type O!
Priest: Katawan ni Kristo?

Gays: Macho!

Priest: Kung lahat ng bading ipako sa krus, anong gagawin niyo?

Gays: Tatakbo kami, tatakbo kami!

Priest: Kung si Dingdong Dantes ang ipako sa krus? Ano ang gagawin niyo?

Gays: Babalik kami, babalik kami!

After the mass  I overheard another well-built priest ordering his flocks outside the church to form a queue.

Priest: Ang mga lalake, sunod sa karo ni Hesukristo, ang mga babae naman sa  likod ng mga lalake.

Gays: Kami father, saan susunod?

Priest: Mga bruha, follow me. Sa gitna tayo para bongga!

***

Last Thursday I just posted my column “Belen outsmarted by Lim and Mata” at my  blog Pangasinan News Aro’ (16 thousand hits already, aheem!). It was about “Political Maneuvering 101” of Mayor Benjie S. Lim and City Administrator Vlad Mata that I excitedly scribbled on a bond paper without a tinge of knowledge that  another “Chutzpah ” has just dawned the following day Friday.

“Geez man, what you did is a blue print for other local government units to emulate where the vice mayor and majority of the aldermen have been outfoxed,’ I told my spy at the city hall.

Susmariosep,  this is a political Machiavellian stroke that made many followers of  grassroots politics' jaw dropped.

“Is it true that Councilors Chito Samson, Alvin Coquia, Karlos and Dada Reyna  received P1.5 million each just to railroad, er, pass the resolution to sell the McAdore Building?” I posed.

My mole emphatically reacted: “That’s preposterous. The amount is so huge (for an edifice that is being bought for up to P75 million). Besides, McAdore has not yet been sold!”

My spy told me that even if the proposed resolution has been discussed in the following regular Monday session last week, it can still be passed with the concurrence of the same number of the four councilors (a columnist of another newspaper lividly called these dads as  Judases  who sold their souls for 30 silver).

“The special session will not bode well for Vice Mayor Belen (Fernandez). Imagine, she presided the regular session and the four of her allies sided with the proposed resolution that comes from the mayor. Can you see the embarrassment that would cost her?” posed by my mole.

With chips falling apart from the armor of vice mayor Belen, would this be the end of the vaunted Fernandez et al majority gripped in the city council?

My spy sheepishly responded to my query with his Shakespearean English whose construction I only read at the columns non-pareil of the late Maximo Soliven and Teddy Benigno: “It’s a political climatology changes by tectonic proportion in the legislative landscape of the city council!”

Sannamagan, my media pal calumnist, er, columnist Ronel de Vera of the German national dailies Der Spiegel and Suddeutsche Zeitung retorted: “Mortz baby I will quote that quip as my own. Mahal iyan pag nabasa ni meyor and Vlad!”

***

Oh pahabol pala, I met City Councilor Jigs Seen, the brother in law of the vice mayor and one of the three councilors who did not attend the session, at the Panaderia Antonio the other day. I asked him if because of the allegation that his colleagues sold their souls to the executive department a sign that the  remaining members of the vaunted majority is now a vanquished minority? He answered slowly in the negative. He said the majority is still there in the august chamber. (You can read my selected intriguing but thought-provoking columns at http://mortzortigoza.blogspot.com. You can send comments too at totomortz@yahoo.com).