Binay Assumes PH Presidency, Aquino Resign

God Saves the Filipinos

Reprinted from CNN.Com

MANILA – Emulating his national police chief who resigned Thursday, the Philippine president tendered too his resignation because of the death of 44 commandos he blamed to himself and the police chief.

16th PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC: President Jojo Binay

President Benigno Simeon Cojuangco Aquino III submitted his resignation papers at 10 Am today at the office of the Senate President and the Speaker of the House of Representatives. He was accompanied by his four sobbing sisters at the office of Senate President Franklin Drilon and the chief of Black and White Movement singer Leah Navarro and her group at the office of House Speaker Feliciano "Sonny" Belmonte. Navarro figured recently in a spat at Twitter with the president's former girl friend TV-5 host Grace Lee on the fiasco’s that befell the 44 elite Special Action Force of the Philippine National Police in a rebel infested town in the Southern part island Mindanao in the Philippines.

“With the blunder after blunder I and Alan( Purisima, former chief of the Philippine National Police) have been committing, my conscience could not allow me to continue serving the Filipinos on this thankless job called the presidency,” a poker faced but coughing president speaks.

Aquino said for several nights before he tendered his resignation, he had an emotional and deep soul searching with his four sisters whether to continue serving the country till June 31, 2016 and asked Executive Secretary Paquito Ochoa, a fellow chain smoker in the Palace, to campaign for his term extension in 2016 to 2022 to avoid the non-bailable imprisonment on the technical malversation cum plunder charges on what they did to the billions of pesos stimulus package's Disbursement Acceleration Fund in 2013.

“But with the latest Supreme Court decision favoring my motion for reconsideration, it says there that as long as I and Paquito Diaz, er, Ochoa were in good faith we could skirt off any probable cause the Ombudsman finds after I stepped from office in 2016”.

He said he could not answer the queries of media men if Budget Secretary Butch Abad, the author of DAP follows the fate of former presidents Joseph Estrada and Gloria M. Arroyo who were locked up on the non-bailable plunder case.

“Hindi ko alam ang mangyayari kay Butch, una hindi naman siya president tulad ni former presidents Estrada and Arroyo. Ang alam ko na naging president siya ay sa Parents Teachers Association sa Batanes Island noong 3rd year high school pa si Julia (Abad, chief Presidential Management Staff). Ikalawa, hindi naman klaro ang decision ng Supreme Court (coughing, drank a glass of water given by his staff)... kasi ang sabi doon kami lang ni Paquito and hindi ikukulong.  Ngayon, ewan ko kung ano na ang mangyayari kena Butch, Frank Drilon, and Speaker Sonny Belmonte. Kasi sa totoo lang sila naman talaga ang prumotor noong DAP na hindi na nila dinaan sa Congress for approval kasi ang purpose doon pang mantika daw sa halos lahat na mga walang prinsipyong senador at congressmen”.

The president said the last straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back was the snubbed showed by the SAF troopers to him when they were hastily woke up by their OIC commander Chief Superintendent Noli Talino in their deep slumber in the wee hours of January 30 for a dialogue with an insomniac president.

“I took offense on that meeting, those sons of guns would not retort to my incessant posers if what was their problems like the rumors that they plan to launch a coup against me despite their motley numbers against the shock troops and storm troopers of the Armed Forces of the Philippines under my yes man Lt. General Gregorio Pio Catapang”.

Aquino said one factors that drove him too to resign was the exchanged in Twitter between loyalist and has been singer Navarro and former flame TV host Lee, a Korean who learned Tagalog after spending lengthy time with the personnel of the Presidential Security Group as she waited for the president to come out from his tryst with some Ayala ladies a top PNP general brought to him.

In that Twitter's post, Navarro hits the critics of the president for his conspicuous absence at the arrival of the 42 coffins at a military base in Manila.

“So how many of those people who dissed the President's absence from Villamor (Air Base) were actually there to condole?”

Lee, on her answer, smoked out any remaining wisdom that left Navarro and shrunk her to intellectual pariah that feisty Senator Merriam Santiago loves to compare her fellow senators.

“"There is only one head of the state. Only one commander in chief! You CANNOT compare the value of his presence to the presence of any ordinary citizen then use it against them when they voice out their frustration and anger!"

Binay Took Oath of Office

At 12 noon today Vice President Jejomar Binay took his oath at the office of Chief Justice María Lourdes Aranal-Sereno as the new 16th president of the Republic

An obviously euphoric President Binay immediately assailed his critics especially Senators Alan Peter Cayetano and Antonio Trillanes whose Blue Ribbon Sub Committee investigations on Binay’s alleged billions of pesos corruption issues continue to gnaw Binay popularity stocks at Pulse Asia and Social Weather Stations – two nationally prestigious pollsters that left leaning Ibon Foundation has to emulate for its accuracy.

“Sino ngayon ang pupulutin sa kangkongan Senator Cayetano and Senator Trillanes? Remember as the president of this Republic I have the lone discretion to give a piece of action to a senator or congressman to every multi-million pesos government projects lawmakers could get any kick backs in aid of their re-election,”.

Binay, during his oath taking ceremony with Chief Justice Sereno, was accompanied by jailed Senators Juan Ponce Ramon “Bong” Revilla, Jose Pimentel Ejercito “Jingoy” Estrada, and Janet Napoles.

“I’m glad that the SandiganBayan granted my request for their temporary liberty to attend my oath taking. These people were falsely accused; tomorrow my first decree is to give them pardon after they pleaded guilty to the court for the concocted crimes my predecessor charged them. God saves the Philippines!”Binay concluded the ambushed interview after the PSG harried him off to the official black limousine waiting for him outside the Supreme Court.

(This is a Satire)

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