Play of English words at the Impeachment Try

Temperamental Philippines Senator Merriam D. Santiago

By MORTZ C. ORTIGOZA

One of the members of the “amateur” impeachment prosecutor panel is Rep. Marlyn Premicias Agabas. She represents the 6th congressional district of my province Pangasinan.
Don’t you know that her husband Tyrone Agabas, who hailed from Abra Province, is a lawyer and a former member of the Provincial Board?
Lately, in a gathering with some government officials in the district, one of them quipped that Tyrone has been “disbarred.”
I fell from my seat because Tyrone is a nice guy who warmly joined me in some short tête-à-tête every time I met him. He even told me in the past he reads this column.
“Aws, was that true? I surprisingly posed to the group who were amused by my reaction.
“Yes, it was true. He was disbarred because as a lawyer he should not interfere with the nuances of the road works and other projects that should be given to the expert engineers at the DPWH.
“Nakiki-alam doon sa engineering specifications ng projects)” someone naughtily butted.
Susmariosep, Tyronne please tell me that you’re still a lawyer and not an engineer.
***
Sometimes if my schedule permits, I watched the impeachment circus, er, trial at the boob tube.
As a zealous fan of the Shakespearean language, I relish the choice of words used in the exchange of esteemed lawyers former secretary Serafin Cuevas senators Juan Ponce Enrile and Miriam Defensor Santiago.
Miriam was heard to say “colloquy (a conversation). And the seldom used line of “Believed you me.” She even quipped that the impeachment trial is “Sui Generis (unique, peculiar )” where the quantum of proof in impeaching Corona could not strictly be on the criminal laws’ “proof beyond reasonable doubt” but should be on the Civil Law’s “preponderances of evidence.”
Where I have to disagree at the comfort of my seat or bed because the quantum of proof should be the administrative law’s “substantial of evidence” since Corona , if convicted, should not be going to jail but could only be perpetually disqualified in public office. Besides, criminal charges against him have to wait at the sideline after he is convicted in the impeachment trial.
Enrile would quipped ““assembled and marshaled evidence for each article” and Cuevas would say “Objection, very immaterial.”
I was reminded by my professor in college when he told us: “A fruit of a poisonous tree” in dealing with unacceptable evidence in a criminal case.
“Look class how beautiful is the English language,” he said.
***
Speaking about beautiful, last night I dreamed about a beautiful lady replacing Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile as the presiding officer of the Impeachment Trial. That lady was no other than presidential sister Kris Aquino.
Here’s the excerpts of what transpired in my nightmare, er, dream:
Presiding Officer Kris Aquino: Can the two lady solons introduce themselves.
Rep. Marlyn Primicias Agabas: Conditionally, Marlyn Primicias-Aggabas, sixth district, Province of Pangasinan.
(Marlyn was wearing an expensive gown that could put to shame the dress of the mother of all ninangs in a wedding)
Rep. Arlene Bag-ao: Good afternoon Your Honor, respectfully appearing for the prosecution, my name is Arlene Bag-ao from the party-list Akbayan.
(Arlene was wearing a simple faded pink gown that she inherited from her lola)
Presiding Officer Kris: Sandali, what’s your name again?
Bag-ao; Ako po Your Honor?
PO Kris: No, iyong unang girl.
Agabas: Marlyn Agabas, Madam Senate President.
PO Kris: I like your terno. Promise, bagay sa akin tone mo. Rajo Laurel ba iyan?
Agabas: Patis Tesoro, Your Honor.
PO Kris: Sosyaal! Can afford. O, ikaw naman Congresswoman Bag-ao, sinong tumahi niyan?
Bag-ao: SM lang po ‘to Madam Senate President.
PO Kris: Bongga! I like you! Walang pretensions. SM kung SM! Why not ‘di ba? Feeling ko Megamall ‘yan? Kultura?
Bag-ao: Tama po Your Honor.
PO Kris: Winnnnner! Anyway, kahit identified ako sa mga taong nagsusulong ng ouster ng Chief Justice, uulitin ko lang, i will try to be fair. Pero, i admit, kapag nakikita ko ang mukha ng mga congressmen, naaalala ko ang dati kong show, ‘yong ‘The Price is Right.’ I don’t know why. Basta. Sandali, session suspended for 5 minutes muna! Retouch lang ako. Bambi, ‘yong blush-on ko please.
(This Krissy Joke – “aha-ha-ha-ha !(signature laughed of Kris” is copied by the author from the Professional Heckler).
(You can read my selected intriguing but thought-provoking columns at http://mortzortigoza.blogspot.com. You can send comments too at totomortz@yahoo.com